Eternal Detention by Jamie Thomson

Author:Jamie Thomson [Thomson, Jamie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781408330289
Publisher: Orchard Books
Published: 2017-05-06T21:00:00+00:00

Dirk left Skinrash to his face stuffing, and called in Dave the Storm Crow from outside the window. It was carrying a message from the Darklands, as Dirk had hoped. The Dark Library’s Deadly Poisons section was probably the best possible place you could go to find out about poison and Agrash had completed an in-depth analysis. The Black Hag’s poison was called the ‘Malefic Taint’ and various ingredients were involved – principally Black Oleander,Orcsbane (both only grew in the Darklands), Nightshade and Hemlock (which also grew on Earth). All of these ingredients were to be found in a little bottle strapped to Dave’s leg. Agrash warned against touching any of them directly. ‘Andel wiv care’ had been daubed on it in crude Goblin writing.

Dirk put a hand to his chin and smiled. It would have been hard to work out how to create an antidote back in his Alchemical Lab in the Iron Tower, but here on Earth? Even the school chemistry lab was leagues ahead of his, and the amount of information about how to make antidotes and antitoxins just on the internet alone, freely there for all to see, would make the job almost easy.

Well, provided you were an evil genius like him, of course! Without thinking, Dirk put his hands together and let rip with one of his trademark Evil Laughs.

‘MWAH, HAH, HAH!’

‘Oh, do be quiet, Dirk,’ said Mrs Purejoie from just outside the door. ‘Anyway, would you open up please, your washing’s done.’

‘Excellent, my minion,’ said Dirk, as he rose to his feet. ‘It is good that you have brought my washing. When I conquer all, at least it will be in a nice clean shirt.’

‘Yes, yes, very funny,’ said Mrs Purejoie as she came into the room, arms full of Dirk’s clothes. ‘It took ages to get that nasty green stuff out of your dressing gown – I do wish you’d be more careful, Dirkikins.’

Mrs Purejoie dumped the clothes on his bed, turned and reached for the cupboard door. Dirk eyes widened with horror. Of course, she was going to hang everything up in the cupboard! Before he could say a word, she had yanked the door open…

…to see Skinrash, frozen in fright, warty hand halfway up to his mouth, about to pop another wine gum in, eyes swivelled up in shock at the sight of her, face a mask of caught-in-the-act Goblin guilt.

Mrs Purejoie blinked in astonishment. Then she simply slumped to the floor in a dead faint.

Dirk stared at the body on the floor for a moment, thinking furiously.

‘Quick, Skinrash,’ he barked, ‘under the bed with you, now!’

‘Yes, Master,’ said Skinrash, darting past the prone Purejoie and into the darkness beneath the bed.

‘Don’t come out, and whatever you do don’t make a sound! Not even a single wine gum slurp! I mean it, I really Dark Lord mean it, you understand?!’

‘Yes, Master,’ said a cowed Skinrash.

‘Jack, Jack!’ Dirk shouted. ‘Hilary’s fainted!’ Seconds later, Dr Jack came running into the room.

‘Hilary!’ he gasped as he knelt down behind her.

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